Does the law of attraction really work?
I had my doubts about the law of attraction. Proponents of the law of attraction would immediately say that my doubts were what was causing me to fail in attracting what I wanted.
It’s an infallible argument, isn’t it? Proponents can say that they are right by saying that they have attracted things, and people who did not attract things had doubts and did not do things correctly. There is no real proof that it works.
However, my biggest problem with the law of attraction is that it gives people a way out of taking action and being responsible. I feel that a lot of people use it as a shortcut without really improving themselves.
But what if I were to tell you that a doubter like me was able to see how it really works?
It does work but not how many people expect. If you can understand what I am about to share with you, it can completely change your life.
Vibrations
They say that the law of attraction works on vibration and frequency.
“The law of attraction states that you will attract into your life–whether wanted or unwanted–whatever you give your energy, focus, and attention to. You are constantly giving off vibrations of energy when you think and feel. These vibrations can be picked up and received by other people. – Jack Canfield”
I understood the concepts discussed about vibration and frequency. Simply put, they say that when we are happy, we vibrate at a higher frequency, and this makes it easier to connect to get what we want.
But it really clicked for me when I watched a Peter Crone video.
He says, “As we emit a particular vibration based on how we view ourselves, we attract like circumstances.”
The key point to understanding vibration is knowing “how we view ourselves.”
Most people understand themselves on a shallow level, but most don’t understand how the events, environment, and stories of their past molded their true identity that affects their behavior and interactions.
Almost all of us carry unresolved baggage from the past caused by fear, trauma, and misunderstanding, especially from childhood.
This unresolved baggage vibrates and attracts what we already are.
Peter talks of three things that can be tied to our identity that are causing us to put out the wrong vibration. These three things are inadequacy, security, and scarcity.
Let me discuss each of these with you and show you how our unresolved baggage keeps attracting the opposite of what we really want.
Inadequacy
There are many events that can make us feel that we are not good enough.
You might have been called names and made fun of when you were young. You might have had a parent who never recognized anything you did. You might have been called ugly by someone to whom you were really attracted. Maybe you grew up in a terrible environment.
If you feel inadequate, it can manifest itself in many ways.
Often without recognizing it, we vibrate an energy that I am not good enough.
You want to talk to the person at a party, but you don’t. You want to ask for a promotion, but you don’t. You want to try something new, but you don’t.
Even if you do any of these things, people can pick up on your vibrations of inadequacy which makes it more likely you will get turned down. Or you give up or put off pursuing a goal because of your feeling of inadequacy.
It can manifest itself in other ways. You might be a people pleaser or a perfectionist because you need validation. You might have an aggressive attitude because you have a need to prove to yourself that you are not weak. These behaviors affect what you attract.
If you want love, but you feel that you are not loveable. You might attract a partner, but due to your insecurity, you might be always testing them to see if they love you. This is not authentic and can eventually drive them away.
In every case your behavior is inauthentic and keeps people from being truly authentic with you. Your vibration is attracting the opposite of what you really want.
Security
We all want to belong, feel safe, and feel that we have control of our lives and situation.
If you grew up in a household where your parents were often not around, it might create a need for stability in your life. Today, you might stay in a terrible relationship because you cling to that need for having some kind of stability in your life.
You might tolerate bad behavior in your partner, you might be too clingy, or you might be too doting. These are inauthentic behaviors.
When you are inauthentic with people, in return, you get people who are not authentic with you. They know that you will let them do what they want, so they do what they want. On the other hand, you might have a partner who mentally checks out all the time, or they might always have to ‘work’ because you are being too clingy. They are trying to create space for themselves.
Instead of attracting a secure relationship, you end up attracting more insecurity for yourself.
This works in other ways, too.
You might have experienced lots of upheaval in your life making you feel that life is chaotic, and it created a longing for wanting control. This manifests itself in you being too controlling or feeling a deep unease when you are not in control.
You might want to be a better manager, but because you have this underlying need to stay in control, this drives your employees to possibly resent and not connect with you. This in turn probably makes you more controlling.
This unresolved behavior of being controlling is not allowing you to become the manager you envision.
Scarcity
You can have unresolved issues around scarcity if things were lacking in your life like love, food, or money.
If you grew up in an area where jobs were difficult to find and hold, your parents might have emphasized keeping and holding on to a job no matter what. Part of your story that you tell yourself is around finding and keeping a job.
You might have a hard job with low pay and possibly a bad boss. People tell you to switch jobs all the time, but you never do because you fear that there will not be anything better. Your vibration is keeping you in place.
Maybe you grew up in a family where money was very tight. The few times money came, maybe your parents splurged on a few things, and it made you feel great. Years later, you spend money all the time and find it hard to save. The identity you created around the scarcity of money tells you that you have to use it while you have it so you can be happy.
This vibration leads to very little savings and lots of debt. You are maintaining what you vibrate.
As in each of these cases, you can see how what you are vibrating is actually keeping you from what you want and only attracting what you already are.
If you want to change your vibration and attract something better, you have to understand who you are inside.
How do understand who I really am deep down?
The first step to understanding how you really view yourself deep inside is to do a deep self-introspection.
A great place to start is to examine your behaviors and emotions. Explore things like your triggers and the habits that you fall back on when you are experiencing negative emotions. When you examine these, ask yourself, “what kind of person would do that or feel that? “This question helps to put some space between you and your ego.
For example, if you find yourself getting triggered by something someone says to you, ask yourself, what kind of person would be triggered by that? Keeping yourself in mind, you might answer a person who was bullied when they were in school, a person who is not confident in themselves, a person who believes in treating others with respect, etc.
Next, explore each answer in depth. Why were they bullied? Why do they feel that they are not confident? Why do they have a strong belief in treating others with respect? Dig deep with the why questions and get to the source of the story.
Once you get to the source, then you need to move towards acceptance and letting the reaction go. Start by validating the events and the story. Is the reaction still serving the person today? Is it true that the person is really not confident?
Keep in mind that one problem with self-examination is that the ego likes to get in the way.
The ego wants to be right. We all tell stories from our own perspective, finding excuses and justification for how we behave. In addition, when our identity is threatened, it is hard to get past the bias of the ego. Often, the identity is tied to being a victim and doesn’t want to let go. We hold onto stories like ‘I am unlovable or uncapable.”
Challenge your stories. When you were born, you did not have any stories at all to fall back on. You were just like everyone else, a blank slate. You have the power to shape a new story.
One way to understand this is to close your eyes and imagine how it would really feel to let those stories go. Imagine that the past was just a bunch of events to help you better understand and love yourself. Freedom feels so much better if you have experienced being chained up. This is your chance to remove those chains.
Peter says, “what if you are where you are supposed to be right now?”
That phrase puts everything into perspective for me. I see that the challenges in my past all led me to where I am today. Now, I have the power to really understand myself on a deeper level, and more importantly, I have the choice to let them go and to embrace being alive and free.
This helps me to vibrate at a much higher level. This helps me to act more authentically. This allows me to accept who I am, faults and all, fully.
If you can teach yourself to understand how you really view yourself, then you can become free. And with freedom comes a higher vibrancy that attracts those things that you really want. You become more authentic which helps lead to better things for yourself.
Follow me or sign up for my newsletter. I explore why we behave as we do, and how we can create real freedom and happiness by coming to terms with who we are.
