Mindset is the basis for everything. When you have a strong mindset, everything else becomes easier.
I first worked on creating a stronger mindset by learning to overcome urges to delay, to put off, to avoid. When I would feel those types of urges, I would push myself to get up and start working on the things I was putting off or to push myself further when I was ready to quit.
As I pushed myself further, over time, I became mentally stronger.
I decided to build on this and create a 30-day plan to follow that would really help strengthen my mindset, so I could get closer to living the life that I wanted.
Overview
- Part 1 – The Principles Behind the 30-Day Plan
- Part 2 – Four Key Focus Points
- Part 3 – Tips for Staying on Track
Part 1 – The Principles Behind the 30-Day Plan
To increase the effectiveness of the plan, I created some principles to follow.
My plan focused on a few key points.
- Consistency – I had read that focusing on consistency would help to rewire the brain more quickly. I wanted to create actionable items that I could consistently perform each day. Through consistency, I wanted to build routines that I would automatically follow, so I wouldn’t have to rely so much on willpower.
- Rules – I created strict rules that I had to follow. I knew that if I could follow my rules, even when I didn’t feel like following them, I would become mentally stronger.
- No Complacency – I had become too complacent in my life. I would often do things, and then tell myself that I had done enough even when I could have done more. This meant that I had to finish things. It meant that I couldn’t put them off to a different time. It also meant that I couldn’t partially do them. If I said I would exercise a certain amount of time, then I would exercise that amount of time or more, but never less.
Part 2 – Four Key Focus Points
Here are the four key focus points on which I wanted to concentrate:
- Break One Self-Destructive Habit
- Face a Fear
- Improve My Health
- Improve My Input
Focus Point 1: Break One Self-Destructive Habit
We all have bad habits, but I started labeling mine as destructive. By acknowledging and labeling them as destructive, it made it easier for me to want to change them.
I had many, but the first one that I really wanted to focus on was to stop wasting my mornings.
If I didn’t have anything important to do in the morning, I would usually lie in bed and spend several hours on my phone. I often got irritated with myself for not getting things done, and these negative feelings would sap my willpower leading to further procrastination throughout the day.
I looked at this as a challenge to become mentally stronger and show my monkey brain that I was in charge. As a first step, I made a rule to get up without looking at my phone.
Next, I looked at what things might trigger my destructive habit.
Every morning when I woke up, I would turn off the alarm, and as I had the phone in my hand, it just became habit to continue using it.
To prevent this, I decided to place my phone across the room. This would force me out of bed to turn off the alarm.
Importantly, if I found myself wanting to look at the phone (which was often), I would remind myself that I was stronger than my primitive brain and that I was in control. By consciously reminding myself that I was in control, I knew it would help me to become mentally stronger more quickly.
Focus Point 2: Face a Fear
One thing we all need to realize – the fear is in your mind. The fear is what we have created. If we created it, we have the antidote to destroy it! – David Goggins
I listened to a video of former Navy Seal and Public Speaker, David Goggins. He tells the story of how he looked at each of his fears and attacked them.
For example, he didn’t want to be interviewed on a podcast because he used to stutter. He was afraid that he might start stuttering and everyone would think negatively of him. So, he went on the show and faced his fear.
He says that when you can face the fear and learn to deal with it, it no longer rules you. Facing your fears gives you confidence. It gives you strength. It gives you freedom.
I had many different fears, but I wanted to first focus on those fears that were holding me back from getting to the next level, so I looked at the different things I was putting off. I had fears about my writing, coaching, and future… I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of criticism. I was afraid of what people would think of me.
I made a decision to face those fears.
Each evening, I would think of some action items that would force me to face my fears and delays, and I would focus on one or two of them. I created a “Face a Fear” box. My rule was that whatever I wrote in the box, I had to face.
The next day, I would attack at least one of them. I had to show myself that I was attacking my delays and fears every day.
Focus Point 3: Improve My Health
As I wrote in my last article, without good health, living the best life we want is much more difficult. Health is one of the key components of living a good life. Good health leads to better brain functionality which makes it easier to overcome and strengthen one’s mindset.
My body was becoming softer and stiffer as I got older. I could also see the effects of aging of those a generation or two above me. I saw them getting stiffer and slower, and I wanted to slow that down as much as possible so it would be easier to enjoy life. I decided to focus on creating a routine around following a good diet and consistent exercise.
I created a health box. In that box, I would target one thing for diet and one thing for exercise.
I made a weekly plan that included days that involved intermittent fasting and strict keto. For my exercise, I created a stretching and calisthenics plan that I had to consistently do.
Focus Point 4: Improve My Input
When I talk about input, I am referring to how we talk to ourselves and our daily thoughts. It also includes outside information that we listen to or watch every day.
I saw how other people were able to make big changes in their lives and greatly improve their mindsets by focusing on and changing their input.
To break up their regular pattern of thinking, they started listening to, watching, and reading motivational material.
I had already started doing this, and it really helped to break me out of my old way of thinking, and it was easier to work on those things on which I was procrastinating. As I got ready for the day, I would find a random podcast or YouTube motivational channel and listen to it.
I have never been a person who can stand in front of the mirror and yell positive things back.
Instead, I made it a rule to start my day with some simple journaling. In it, I would write out my key principles and the person I was becoming. I would also focus on being positive and grateful. To reinforce the positive traits I was creating, I would write down the good things I had accomplished recently.
If I caught myself in a little bit of a negative mood, I would try to find one short, positive, and inspirational story to read just before journaling. This would also help to put me in the right mindset to start my day.
Furthermore, I wanted to change the messages I was internally saying to myself.
I focused on recognizing when I was having negative feelings before or during an activity. I made it a rule to acknowledge those feelings and then tell myself that I was in control, not my feelings.
If I felt tired, I would tell myself that I now had an opportunity to strengthen my mindset. I was in control and would either start the activity or go further.
Instead of looking at everything as a hill to overcome, I started to look at them as a way to improve my mindset.
I also started to look at things differently. Whenever I caught myself thinking this is difficult, this isn’t good enough, I am not sure this will be any good, etc., I would start asking myself questions. Why can I do this? Why will it be good? Why am I capable of doing this?
This subtle change in the way of thinking about things really helped me to make improvement. By asking myself questions that helped me to concentrate on the positives and output, it made it easier for me to start and finish my work.
I knew that if I focused on changing my input, it would be a very powerful way to strengthen my mindset.
Tips for Staying on Track
- Keep it simple. Don’t try to change everything at once. Focus on a few key things and work on them.
- Make Rules and follow them. Following rules, you set, will make you mentally stronger.
- Command your primitive brain. “I am in charge. I will get up now.” Then do it. Use Mel Robbins’ countdown rule and count down from 5 and then start.
- Break your rumination. If you find yourself not moving and lost in negative thoughts, as soon as you’re aware of your situation, do something to break out of your thoughts. Watch a motivational video or listen to some music that makes you feel good. Break the spell and then take action.
- Be aware of your language and your thoughts. Change your negatives into positives. Instead of focusing on what you are not doing, look at it as a challenge to overcome the primitive brain. Start debating with yourself and ask yourself why you are capable.
- Be consistent. If you have a bad day, don’t make it two, bad days in a row. Don’t focus on the bad day. Instead focus on making your good days outnumber the bad days.
- Don’t worry about what others think. Many fears come about because we are afraid of what others will think. Move forward with your plan.
Conclusion
If you consistently and consciously work on this, you will notice a big change. I definitely did.
I learned to look at all those urges from my primitive brain as a challenge. I started to be more aware of them and to push past them. The biggest change is when I was aware that I was delaying to work on the tasks in my fear box. It was hard, but I made myself do them.
After I got them done, I would feel a big weight lifted off of my shoulders and realized it wasn’t such a big deal. All of that stress, hesitation, and fear was coming from my subconscious. When I learned to push past those feelings and work on attack my fears, it made me feel so much better as I saw myself moving forward. It became easier and easier to work on them.
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Create a stronger mindset and live a better life. If you have questions, please let me know in the comments section.
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