How to focus on the present moment.
People suffer because they do not live in the present; their minds are in the future or in the past.
A colleague of mine came to me and was worried about his job after our company had just announced a merger. Over the next several months, he became so stressed about the future that he was not able to get any work done.
His fear of the future had trapped him in the present moment causing him to suffer even though nothing had yet happened. We were even told at one point that our jobs were safe, but he still suffered because he had many concerns about how things would change.
He wasn’t alone. Many of us, including myself, were worried about what was going to happen going forward, and we all handled it in different ways.
I had an acquaintance who was irritated and negative most of the time. When I talked to them, they always talked about how they had missed an opportunity, or they had messed up, or someone had hurt them in the past. They were a victim.
This friend lived in suffering because they focused on the past.
“The present moment is all there is; the past and future are illusions.” Peter Crone
Peter Crone always stresses that we need to focus on the present moment. The past is done. The future is not here, so why should we cause suffering for ourselves about something that has not occurred?
How focusing on the future can cause suffering.
Don’t get me wrong. Focusing on the future is important.
Our dreams and goals are great motivators and help guide us forward. Moreover, worrying about what might happen can also help us prepare for situations that might arise and derail us from our goal.
Here are some common ways that the future can cause suffering.
Unmet Expectations
I can’t tell you how many things I gave up on throughout my life when my expectations were not met quickly enough.
I started different businesses and expected to make money quickly. I would start creating content and expected to have ‘X number of followers’ within a short time using techniques I had studied.
I caused stress for myself because I expected the future to go a certain way as long as I met certain conditions. When it didn’t, I got disappointed quickly.
Worry of my Future
Will I get sick? Will I have enough money for retirement? What happens if I get cancer? What happens if there is a major earthquake in Tokyo or a world war breaks out?
I would like to think that I didn’t dwell on these things too much, but after I started to be mindful of my thoughts, I noticed that I did worry about the future more than I thought.
Sometimes I would be worried about things in the very near future, and sometimes I would worry about things far away.
I saw how these feelings would push me to fall back to one of my comforting habits like playing games, taking naps, going to my local hangout for a drink, etc.
Believing we will feel a certain way when something happens.
Many people chase intangible needs like happiness, security, and love.
“I can guarantee you this; you will never be in your future. So, the ONLY place you will ever find true joy …. is here and now.” Peter Crone
I will be happy when I lose 20 pounds. I will have security when my company makes a million dollars. I will know true love when I find that dream partner and get married.
Peter says that if we can’t find those things in us now, then when we do achieve our goals, we will find that we didn’t find the intangible needs that we were seeking.
“Rather than hoping and waiting for this aspirational future where we think we’re going to be happy, what about if you could just consider the possibility of being happy today?”
When you can learn to find happiness in the present moment, or when you can learn to love yourself, then you no longer need to chase them. This will cause you to be more authentic leading to better outcomes in the future.
How dwelling on the past causes suffering.
“Shoulda, woulda, coulda.”
We all second guess ourselves.
Most people have regrets. They are ashamed of things they have done. They are angry at how life unfolded. They chastise themselves over lost opportunities.
“What happened, happened and couldn’t have happened in any other way… because it didn’t.” Peter Crone
Many people live in the world of beating themselves up. Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Why was I made this way? Why did that have to happen to me?
I know that I have spent a lot of time thinking about all the things I wish I had done or not done in the past.
“Regretting past decisions is futile. Things couldn’t have been different, because they weren’t. The question is, can you find peace with that?” Peter Crone
If we are not careful, we can get caught up in the what if game for hours or days on end.
The past is done. It was a teacher. As Peter says, what happened, happened. It is time to move on.
Good things happen when you live in the present.
It really hit me after listening to Peter talk about focusing on the present moment, about learning to find peace and harmony with life now.
When you live in the present moment, you reduce your suffering. You reduce stress and anxiety. If you can learn to live in the present, you immediately feel better. When I caught myself worrying about something in the future or the past and then forced myself to concentrate on what I can control in the present moment, I could immediately feel my stress go down.
I also noticed that this helped to improve my focus. Fearing what would happen or recalling that I had not had good results before was impeding my progress when working on things. Being mindful and focusing on the present helped me to have better focus and completion.
No one knows the future. It might not meet your expectations, and it might exceed your expectations. I started concentrating on the present moment of getting things done and improving myself.
By working on making myself better today, I know it will make it much easier to adapt to whatever life throws my way.
How can you learn to concentrate on the present?
Here are some things I do to help keep me focused on the present.
The first and most important is to be self-aware.
By being mindful of my thoughts, it helped me to better manage my emotions. When I wasn’t aware, my thoughts would run all over the place. And when these random thoughts dwelled on negative things, it triggered my coping mechanisms.
When I caught myself dwelling on the past or present, I would gently remind myself to focus on the things I had control over now. I reminded myself to work on the task at hand, and this greatly improved my focus as I was able to take control of my scattered thoughts and move them back to what I was working on.
The second is that I would start my day off on a positive note.
Before working, I would sit down and type out or read a previously written message to myself reminding me to be happy in the present moment and to focus on what I can control today.
I also came up with a mantra that I would say to myself throughout the day: “I am focused on this moment. I choose to do the best I can at this moment.”
Finally, through constant practice. The more I practice, the easier it becomes. My mind still flies off to the past and present, but I am slowly learning to be mindful and move into the present moment.
Summary
It’s natural to fear the future and to play the what-if game about our past, but if you can learn to be self-aware and focus on the present, it will end a lot of self-made suffering in your life.
Remember, what happened in the past, happened in the past. It could have been terrible, but you are here today, and those trials have made you stronger if you choose to see and acknowledge them.
The future is unknown. Chase your dreams and goals but remember to focus on the journey instead of the end. When life throws things in your way, you will be more prepared.
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